Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
