I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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