Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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