Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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