Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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