I queefed so loud it echoed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
