i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
