i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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