There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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