He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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