I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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