evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
