and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
