so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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