Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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