summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
