Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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