I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
