whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
