Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Randomize
