My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
