my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
