My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
