i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
