Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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