am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
