I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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