Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
