why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
