He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
