I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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