We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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