He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
