i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
