he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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