i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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