i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
