brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
