I swear she didn't look like that last week.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
