Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
