i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
