my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
