I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
