when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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