Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
