she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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