I love black thongs
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I love having hate sex.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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