Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
