I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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