Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
